Abandoned
by Nuuhtella
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks should be the happiest woman in the world. She is recently married and has just discovered her first pregnancy. Yet things have not gone to plan. Abandoned is a word she knows well. *I do not own any of the characters in this story, they belong to J.K. Rowling and her affiliates*


Challenges

Hogwarts Open Day: Hedgehog to Pincushion (Second Year) - Ronks (pairing)

Shipping Wars Competition: Ronks Vs Wolfstar (HPFC) - OTP Card

 **Word Count:** 1,887

* * *

It had been almost an entire week, yet it had felt like so much longer. Each hour seemed to be as long as a lifetime; it was as though the world had stopped turning completely. Or perhaps it was just her who had stopped. The days had turned grey and the winds fierce, though she could not be sure whether that was true or just how she perceived them. It didn't matter. Going outside held no interest for her at that moment in time. It would change, she knew it would change. However, that time was set too far into the future for her to even comprehend. She knew that everything would get far worse before it even had the chance to get better. Nymphadora Tonks stood at the small, white panelled window staring out into the dense garden beyond while contemplating all of these thoughts as she had done every single day since her world had been pulled apart. Her normally bubble-gum pink hair stood limp and lifeless in a strange mousey brown colour and her eyes didn't seem to focus on anything at all after having all of their light sucked away. She could tell that her mother and father were worried for her but Tonks didn't have it in her to care. It was all she could do to keep from completely falling apart.

The strange thing was that, in a way, her situation now seemed rather amusing. A humourless giggle escaped her lips, at which she saw her mother's head snap up from the corner of her eye. Her husband had abandoned her, along with their unborn child. They were in the middle of a war and her baby was now fatherless, as she was now husband-less. It never occurred to her that anything like that would happen to _her_. For some strange reason her infuriating and unwavering optimism blinded her from seeing the things that were happening directly in front of her eyes. That happy, cosy little bubble she had been in since her wedding day had been unceremoniously popped and that made her furious. Absentmindedly, Tonks ran her left hand over her smooth stomach in an attempt to calm herself. _It's not good for the baby, idiot!_ She thought. _The baby. My baby. I still have you my little love and I will love you forever._ It was then that she realised something that she hadn't allowed herself to think until just then. _I will have to be a mother_ and _a father to this baby,_ thought Tonks. That one thought came with so many emotions. Sorrow, pride, fear, anguish.

"Dora?" A timid voice interrupted her thoughts. Turning slightly, Tonks found her mother stood beside her and Andromeda was looking at her daughter with wide, anxious eyes.

"Yes, mum?" She replied. Her voice sounded far hoarser than she remembered.

While placing one hand on Tonks' shoulder, Andromeda squeezed her daughter affectionately and began to speak. "Do you want to try and eat something now, my love?" She asked. "You didn't eat your breakfast today, remember? The baby needs some nutrients."

Tonks gave a small nod and followed her mother into their small, cosy kitchen. With a wave of her wand Andromeda had knives cutting up vegetables and a pot of potatoes boiling on the stove in under a minute. As she waited for the dinner that she had no appetite for to be cooked, Tonks grabbed a few plates from the cupboard and began to set their small, wooden table though almost dropped the entire pile onto the floor. Her mother merely smiled that strange smile that all mothers seem to have. It was a smile that held its own personal secret. Tonks gave her a small smile in return and finally settled into one of the dining chairs as she watched her mother continue to cook. Soon the smell of beef had filled their home and, right on cue, her father entered the kitchen while sniffing the air appreciatively.

"Smells good," Ted Tonks exclaimed as he walked into the room.

"Well either get out or sit down. It won't be ready for another 15 minutes at least," Andromeda told her husband sternly.

Not deterred by his wife's response, Ted grabbed her by the waist and kissed her lovingly on the lips. Given all she had been through, Tonks could tell that her parents had attempted to keep their embraces to a minimum. However, what they did not realise was that she loved to see how they interacted. The two of them had been the only solid relationship in her life and she loved the way they loved each other. Ted came over to his daughter at that moment and kissed her lightly on her forehead before sitting in the chair directly beside her. He smiled that crinkly smile that was often etched onto his face and took one of her hands in his own.

"You okay, Dora?" he asked.

"I'm okay, Daddy," Tonks replied. Her voice still sounded strange to her own ears though.

"How's the little one?" Ted winked, causing Tonks to roll her eyes playfully.

"The same as yesterday, Dad," said Tonks.

Ted chuckled. "Ah, yes. I recall now."

"Maybe your memories finally going," Tonks grinned.

"Maybe," her father chortled as Andromeda laughed. "But-"

A loud knock on their front door interrupted his sentence and the atmosphere in their tiny kitchen changed almost at once. Her parents shared a significant look before both turning to look at her almost simultaneously. Tonks placed one hand protectively over her stomach while grabbing her wand with the other in a mirror image to her parents. It was Ted who cautiously left the room to see who the visitor was while her mother positioned herself directly in front of her. Tonks knew that her skill at fighting was far greater than her parents but their need to protect her and her child was a touching one nonetheless. The two of them listened attentively from the kitchen, tensed to act at a moment's notice. They heard the front door of the house being pulled open and the sound of her father's angry voice as he recognised who it was. Just as Andromeda stepped forward to join her husband in the hall, the door to the kitchen was swung open again and in walked her father with his red, angry face followed closely by their visitor.

His eyes met hers almost instantly and from the first moment it was as though they were the only two people who existed in the world. For a mere moment Tonks gazed back into her husband's eyes, forgetting completely all that had happened between them. Then one word sounded throughout her mind. _Abandoned._ It was that particular word which made one emotion surpass all of the emotions she had been feeling over the course of that week. Happiness evaporated as the anger set in, finally turning into outright fury. Her eyes narrowed as the red mist set in, clouding her sight and mind. Tonks gripped her wand a little too tightly and red sparks flew out unexpectedly but she still did not put it down.

"Get. Out," Tonks spat, unable to keep the venom out of her voice.

"Please," Remus Lupin began weakly. "Please just let me explain."

"Explain?" she yelled, the outrage clearly set in her tone.

"Yes. I'd like to talk."

 _Unbelievable._ "Talk? TALK?" Tonks bellowed at him. Her parents stood startled in front of the stove and Tonks mildly noticed that they both had the same shocked expression etched onto their faces. "You had your chance to talk and _you_ walked out on _me._ NOT just me but our _baby._ You abandoned us and now you want to _talk_?"

"Just… Just let's please go to another room," Remus pushed. "Please. I need to tell you everything."

Without waiting for her answer Remus walked back through the kitchen door and entered into their small living room, clearly hoping that Tonks would follow. She seriously considered not going out of spite but she owed it to their child to hear him out at least. Tonks reassured her parents quickly before following him into the living room and closing the heavy door behind her. There he stood in the centre of the room, staring at her with that same intense look she had fallen in love with in the first place. _No, don't think of that,_ she thought. Her burst of anger seemed to be dying down and seemed to be replaced by anguish, a feeling she did not want in the slightest.

"I'm waiting," Tonks snapped.

"Shall we sit?" asked Remus.

"No," said Tonks, her voice harsher this time.

"I don't know where to begin," Remus started. Tonks merely remained silent, not sure as what to reply to this man whom she still loved. "First I should tell you how sorry I am, Dora." The sound of him using her name cut through her heart like a hot knife and she winced. "I love you, possibly too much. You are everything to me."

"Then why did you leave?" Tonks asked though her voice was rather quiet. She was unable to stop herself.

Remus sighed. "I- … I thought it would be better."

"Better?" said Tonks incredulously.

"Yes."

"Better for who? Certainly not me and _certainly_ not your child. Yourself? Yes, that's who. How can you be so selfish? We have a _child_ on the way, Remus. And you abandoned me."

"You deserve better than me."

"Yes, I do." Tonks immediately regretted the words but she couldn't help herself.

"With my leaving… I had hoped to give you and our child a better life. While I am around our baby must always be ashamed of me. Of- of what I am."

Tonks inhaled deeply before responding, not wanting to be too harsh. "I have told you repeatedly that I do not care about that, and neither will our child. What they will care about is how you decided not stay with us because it's too _hard_. Well that is just _not_ acceptable," she ranted. "You are the love of my life and when you left… I felt as though I had lost a part of myself. I am not sure whether I could ever forgive you for that."

"But I'm back now, I'm here for you. I love you. I love our child. Please, let me be there for you and for our baby."

His dark bore into her own and the sincerity there could not be doubted. Yet, he had left before and there would be no way to tell whether he would again. "I need you," Tonks began. "For our baby. That is all. I'm not sure if I can ever trust you again." She paused. "You'll sleep on the sofa."

"I've had worse," Remus smiled, attempting some small humour.

Tonks placed herself directly in front of him, so close she could see the eyelashes on his eyes. "Don't disappoint me… please."

"I won't," said Remus. "I promise."

Remus lifted one hand to her cheek but Tonks pulled away. "Not yet," she said, the pain searing through her. He dropped his hand and nodded, not pushing it any further. Tonks turned and left the room, afraid of how she would react again. _Not yet – she'd said._


End file.
